Can you share a memorable mediation experience?

One case stands out—a disclosure dispute where both legal teams warned me this would be a "check the box" mediation with zero chance of settlement. The buyers felt deliberately deceived by the sellers, while the sellers were deeply offended by accusations of dishonesty. The emotional intensity was palpable.

These situations require extra time for the listening phase. To help parties move beyond their emotions, I often suggest they imagine advising their best friend in the same situation—what counsel would they offer? This technique creates necessary emotional distance.

I explained that successful mediation requires viewing the situation as a business decision rather than a personal battle.  Ultimately, we reached a fair compromise. Both attorneys have since returned to work with me on multiple occasions, which I consider the highest compliment.

What qualities do you believe are essential for a mediator?

Above all, mediators must be exceptional listeners. People need to feel heard and validated before they can listen to others. This requires genuine patience and the wisdom to know when the listening phase has accomplished its purpose.

While I despise wasting time, I have learned that rushing this initial process is counterproductive. Parties must feel their concerns have been acknowledged before they will engage in problem-solving.

Subject matter expertise is equally crucial. I would not attempt to mediate intellectual property disputes due to my limited experience in that area. However, my extensive background in real estate—including sales disputes, construction payment issues, and defect claims—allows me to understand the nuances that matter to parties in these cases.

What do you think is the most common misconception people have about the mediation process?

Two significant misunderstandings frequently undermine the process.

First, some parties resist sharing their position, fearing it will weaken their stance if mediation fails. This thinking is backwards. Successful mediation requires compromise, and parties can only make informed compromises when they understand the risks of not settling. Since your position will emerge during litigation anyway, why not use it strategically to your advantage? If you have a strong case, let the other side know.

Second, many people approach mediation with a win-lose mentality. This is fundamentally flawed. No one leaves mediation celebrating—the process itself is challenging. However, parties who reach settlement consistently report feeling an enormous weight lifted within days of resolution. Success in mediation means realistic expectations and mutual problem-solving.